The bird of wisdom came to me once more, drunk on the flesh of the saints, and cawed on the shoulder of Babalon.

With all of the gentleness she could muster she said, “be thou beyond wisdom.”

I sat at the altar, alone and full of sorrow, pleading for her grace to take me onward.

Then, the bird cawed again, loud and long and its war cry turned into the songs of devotion, and I knew that the Aeon of Horus was not War but Love in every form.

And Babalon said, “my child, my child, are you sure you are ready?” 

Yes, yes, I nodded and cried, empty and longing — when suddenly her warriors hand grabbed my tongue with such a force that all the ethers shook and the Sun held stiff and still, she drove a mighty nail through the flesh of it, pinning it onto the altar and said, “from this moment on you will only speak Truth or else the grossest hell, stronger than that which a thousand men’s minds could conjure will befall you.” 

And without a moment between, she took my hands and feet and nailed them to the altar, while a thunder so vicious rumbled beneath her feet and she said, “from this moment on the sense of flesh will want for you no more and everything you touch and all roads walked will be in balance. Should you stray from this, you will be cursed for all the rest of your days in waste and wickedness and be shunned from the Hall of Eternity.” 

Then, somehow shifting, she kissed my forehead and cupped my chin and I took one last look upon her face before she plucked out my eyes and held one in each hand and said, “my child, my child, what do you see when there is no Sun?” And to my ear she pressed her lips and whispered, “rest in the body of NUIT.” 

And there was space in the most ruthless yet delicate sea of darkness and all the stars shone a thousand rays of beauty, all glistening in their own way — and for a brief moment I rested and swam in the black pools and dared the planets to dream. 

Just when I felt I could stay forever, Babalon picked me up like a baby in a great mother’s arms and said, “the greatest task is yet before you.” And the bird cawed no more and Babalon slipped slowly away and one by one the stars in the sky went out until only one remained, flickering the like cosmic heart beat until it too was gone. 

The darkness became that which is beyond even that and all that was left was the sublime still moment after an exhale.

When all sound and sight and light and dark and love and war were yet to exist…